The Importance of Remembering Names
Listen, I get it. Our brain only has the capacity to remember so much information. And for most people, asking your brain to add a new name to that capacity is like asking a toddler if you can have the last bite of their ice cream.
Remembering a name is important enough to fight for. We already know people like talking about themselves, but they love hearing their own name. There are a ton of studies out there that prove hearing one’s own name releases feel good hormones in the brain. This leads to trust, understanding, and emotional investment. Using “buddy”, “pal”, or “slugger” unfortunately doesn’t have the same effect.
There are a number of tips and tricks you can use to force your brain to remember a name. In fact, if you look up “how to remember a name” on Google, you’ll be greeted with over a billion results (1,390,000,000 to be exact) all of which claim to be the answer.
If you want to learn from the pros, check out one of these resources:
Book: “The Memory Book” by Harry Lorayne
Book: “Unlimited Memory” by Grandmaster Kevin Horsley
Article: “Remember people’s names once and for all — by using this technique from memory champs” by Rob Smith on Ideas.Ted.com
If you want a few tips to get you started, here are some favorites I’ve learned over the years.
At a Meeting
I use this trick all the time and it never fails. You’re at an onsite meeting, you walk in the room, and there are 10 people sitting at the table. You know one of them, the rest are all new. How are you supposed to remember their names?
There are many reasons why you should carry a good old fashioned notebook with you, but this is perhaps one of the most important.
Once you’ve gotten situated, checked your fly, and located the emergency exits, pull out your trusty notebook. Draw a quick map of the table from the viewpoint of where you’re sitting. Draw some squares for chairs if it helps. Insist on introductions and start jotting down names and titles as it swings around the table.
As the meeting progresses, jot down notes about each person in the margins next to their name. If they mention what is important to them, something they enjoy, something they hate, or anything else important, make a note.
Then, use their name throughout the meeting. Don’t be weird about it, but say it often enough to confirm what they are saying and help you to remember their name.
Use Associations & Connections
Another great way to remember names is to use associations and connections. For me, the easiest way is to think of someone with the same name and associate that person to the person I just met.
My brain works with associations so it’s easier for me to remember someone’s name if I associate them with a familiar face (best friend, family member, neighbor, etc.)
Every time I engage with that person, I think of the association to recall the name. This trick comes with practice, but I find it very useful when I’m learning many names in succession (like at a new sales pitch with multiple people or a conference.)
Don’t Be Ashamed to Ask Again
When all else fails, ask them again. If you just met someone and you’ve lost their name in the middle of a conversation (it happens to the best of us), ask them again. It’s better to get out in front of it then to let it ride. Most people will empathize with forgetting a name after just hearing it. Hell, they might have even forgotten your name too. Clear the air, have a laugh, and move forward.
I often use these light-hearted responses when I have to pull the ripcord:
I can’t believe I just did this, but I just lost your name. It happens sometimes when I’m trying so hard to remember everyone’s names. Isn’t it always like that? Would you mind repeating?
I’m so sorry, I’m embarrassed to say I’ve already forgotten your name. Would you mind repeating one last time?
Before we continue I have to admit I’ve forgotten your name. Sometimes I try too hard to remember and my mind rebels. Would you mind saying it again?
Usually people will be understanding if you forget, we all do it. Just remember to remember it the second time around.
Practice makes perfect. As easy as it sounds, remembering names consistently is a skill to be learned and practiced. Try it out the next time you’re in a bar or at a networking event. You might surprise yourself with the results. And it will pay you back tenfold.
